i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
