I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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