Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I can't turn off my feet"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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