You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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