she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
No...this little piggys going to the bar
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
