for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
