wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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