Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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