hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
