He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
