ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
