Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
