Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
