I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
