We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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