cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
