i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
