just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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