if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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