i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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