Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize