He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
