I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
