Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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