I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
