Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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