Nicole vs. Life
This girl is more easily done than said...
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize