When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
