either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
