If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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