I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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