I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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