My pussy is not your playground.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
