Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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