Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
