No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
