put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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