He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Someone shattered a urinal.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
