Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
