please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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