You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize