I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
