i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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