He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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