Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
