I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
