In the future we'll all be gay
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
