there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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