Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
