I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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