I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
A bitchslap is in order.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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