his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize