I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize