I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
