Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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