I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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