girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
