and you said cock pushups were impossible
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
