At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
