is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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